Music they listen....am I too picky?

[proudmama2three]

Okay so we have our 14 and 15yr old nephews living with us(will be adopting). One of the boys came home after buying a music cd from his Aunts store. I was just browsing through the songs. OMG!! I could NOT beleive the songs that were one there. For example of a song title: "Getting me some head". Then I noticed that on the front of this cd it says "Parental Advisory...Explicit Lyrics". I told him I wanted that cd out of the house or I would throw it away. About 4days later I found it in his room. Guess What???........I threw it away. I went into his brothers room and found another cd like the other one so I proceded to throw that one away as well. What is it about the pictures that are on some of these cd's? I dont find them any different then porno.

:shrug Would you have threw out the cd?

[Duck]

You did warn him! I'm not sure what I would have done, but that's definitely one of the possibilities.

[Smidget]

i'm not sure. i listen to that kinda music, and i have since i was a teenager. my parents didnt' like it, so i didn't let them hear it :shrug they didn't throw them away or anything though.

that being said, i don't know if i want my girls listening to it. at 14 and 15 i probably won't mind, but while young, i don't know. i guess i'll have to see when the time comes because i listen to it now while they're with me.

[proudmama2three]

Well I guess it bugs me because I think at 14 and 15yrs old boys developing their ideas of woman. If they are listening to music that call their girlfreinds the B word how are they going to respect a woman when their music role models are ones that dont repect women enough to use respectful words in their music. I dont want my girls to grow up thinking it is okay for boys to call them the B word or anyother word that is NOT respectful. I dont want my 6 1/2 yr old son to to think that the only thing a girl is good for is to satisfy him only and who cares about the girl. I figure if I dont use that type of words or ideas from my own mouth why do I need to let it come into my house through a so called music cd? I figured if people that I dont even know deemed it necessary to put on their own product "Parental Advisory....Explicit Langauage"(i find it interesting because they target the very people they are advising should listen to it) Then 14 and 15yr old boys or girls have NO business listening to it.

My husband told the boys "just dont let her find the cds out cause she will throw them away."So yes they have been warned.

[WhoserMomma!]

Okay, to be honest...I would have took them out back and did some skeet shooting. :para

[twinbears]

I think you and your husband are sending mixed messages. You are saying not in my house he is saying as long as you don't see it. I think I am pretty tolerant with my son and what he listens to but I don't think he listens to anything that bad. I think first you and your dh needs to determine what the music rules are. Then sit down and talk to them both. Tell them why you don't think they should listen to it. I think being teenagers honeslty they will listen to it somewhere so it is better to say hey is that really how you would treat a woman?

[2littlelovebugs]

I think that since you warned them, you should have thrown them away. You were consistent and that's what counts.

Maybe you could come to some sort of compromise. I know that Wal-Mart sells CD's that are edited for language and content. Maybe they could get the CD's as long as they're from Wal-Mart. :shrug

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[proudmama2three]

I think you and your husband are sending mixed messages. You are saying not in my house he is saying as long as you don't see it. I think I am pretty tolerant with my son and what he listens to but I don't think he listens to anything that bad. I think first you and your dh needs to determine what the music rules are. Then sit down and talk to them both. Tell them why you don't think they should listen to it. I think being teenagers honeslty they will listen to it somewhere so it is better to say hey is that really how you would treat a woman?

You are SO right. We were sending mixed messages. But when I showed my husband the crap the music is singing about he agree that they shouldnt have it in our house for my young children to listen too. To be honest they have other music that I really dont like but i do allow. But the two cd's that I found were just aweful and outright disrespectful to me as a women.

[Sofa King]

This is so hard. I know that my head agrees with you, and I applaud your following through on your threat. But I think that sometimes what 'parents' are most outspokenly against is what teens seem to be drivin to? At least that's how I was as a teen. If my mom found something like that and banned it, I'd find a way....even putting it in a different case...or somehow disguising it. Or just listening to it on my walkman or something....but if she told me her opinion....and opened up a discussion about what I thought about the lyrics and why I liked the cd etc....I might still listen to it, but it would give me a reason to really think about it and what it means and maybe give it up on my own.

I know it's good in theory and I know that I don't always practice what I preach....because I've even recently taken away all my girls' bratz dolls. :para But I did discuss why I took them away and asked why it is they love them so much, and we came to a comprimise in that they can play with the kid bratz and baby bratz, but not the teenage ones.

I know it's not a good comparison, but it's all I got. :shrug

[Smidget]

This is so hard. I know that my head agrees with you, and I applaud your following through on your threat. But I think that sometimes what 'parents' are most outspokenly against is what teens seem to be drivin to? At least that's how I was as a teen. If my mom found something like that and banned it, I'd find a way....even putting it in a different case...or somehow disguising it. Or just listening to it on my walkman or something....but if she told me her opinion....and opened up a discussion about what I thought about the lyrics and why I liked the cd etc....I might still listen to it, but it would give me a reason to really think about it and what it means and maybe give it up on my own.

I know it's good in theory and I know that I don't always practice what I preach....because I've even recently taken away all my girls' bratz dolls. :para But I did discuss why I took them away and asked why it is they love them so much, and we came to a comprimise in that they can play with the kid bratz and baby bratz, but not the teenage ones.

I know it's not a good comparison, but it's all I got. :shrug

what's wrong with bratz? :para

[proudmama2three]

This is so hard. I know that my head agrees with you, and I applaud your following through on your threat. But I think that sometimes what 'parents' are most outspokenly against is what teens seem to be drivin to? At least that's how I was as a teen. If my mom found something like that and banned it, I'd find a way....even putting it in a different case...or somehow disguising it. Or just listening to it on my walkman or something....but if she told me her opinion....and opened up a discussion about what I thought about the lyrics and why I liked the cd etc....I might still listen to it, but it would give me a reason to really think about it and what it means and maybe give it up on my own.

I know it's good in theory and I know that I don't always practice what I preach....because I've even recently taken away all my girls' bratz dolls. :para But I did discuss why I took them away and asked why it is they love them so much, and we came to a comprimise in that they can play with the kid bratz and baby bratz, but not the teenage ones.

I know it's not a good comparison, but it's all I got. :shrug

The boy know exactly why I dont like the music. They know what I think about the words and the porno pictures that are on the cd's. When the boys first started living here with us they would ask if they could go and watch a particular movie. Well the movie would be Rated R. We told them they couldnt watch that type of stuff while they lived under our roof. They both LOVE the SCARY movies and were let to watch when their mother had them. Its been a while since they have asked to watch a R movie. So I think that what we are doing is working but sometimes the fact that other parents let their kids listen to this SO called music makes it difficult when we try not to let them listen to it at home(as much as possible). Perhaps them knowing that it is NOT acceptable here in my house may make them think twice when they hear the music some place else(i hope at least). I think that sometimes actions are louder than words especially with teens. They get use to being lectured when they see consistency in action it is more easy to take. At least that is what I think... Of course what do i know. All this teenage stuff is new to me. All I know is that if I was offended by just the title of song how much worse could the words in the song be????:think2

[Super Goo]

The harder you try to keep it away from them, the harder they are gonna fight you on it and become sneaky. They are going to listen to music like that whether you want them to or not, it's just the truth. Every generation goes through this :para Remember "If you play Ozzy or Kiss backwards, it has a secret satanic message in" ??? I do, my parents put very little restriction in what I could listen to though :lol

That being said, it is not just the music industry that portrays women like that, it is the entire culture. I think as women become more empowered, some feel the need to try and take it away. Educating the boys may be the easier choice..

My :twocents

[proudmama2three]

The harder you try to keep it away from them, the harder they are gonna fight you on it and become sneaky. They are going to listen to music like that whether you want them to or not, it's just the truth. Every generation goes through this :para Remember "If you play Ozzy or Kiss backwards, it has a secret satanic message in" ??? I do, my parents put very little restriction in what I could listen to though :lol

That being said, it is not just the music industry that portrays women like that, it is the entire culture. I think as women become more empowered, some feel the need to try and take it away. Educating the boys may be the easier choice..

My :twocents

Thats what I think I am doing...Educating the boys. I am not going in their room searching for cd's that I dont approve of. The majority of music they listen to is that rap stuff. Which is fine I know that is what they like but when it crosses the line of the explicit words I found on the two I threw out then I think I have the option of ignoring it but telling them I dont like it or taking action. One of the other reasons I dont want to hear that music is because I am protecting the young ears in my house. Most of the music they listen to is Spanish and my kids are not fluent in spanish but the english music that has disgusting words I dont want my kids being able to listen to. :shocked I dont want my 6 yr old to come up to me and ask me "What does Getting Me Some Head mean?" Which would be something he would ask me............Out in public.

I listened to the IN music when I was a teenager and I didnt have alot of restriction of the type of music either but lets be honest the music when we were teens were not as bad as some of it was then. I know our parents thought that about our music but I honestly dont remember songs singing about women being called the "B"word and the things you "DO" to them. I think the explicit language is much worse than it was back "then". The fact that we got teens that are getting pregnant, being alcoholics, drug attidicts is proof of what we parents need to battle with. The music industry doesnt make our joy any easier....................

The scary thing is the only way we will know if we did our job as parents is after they grow up and they actually tell us the stuff they did behind our backs:think2.

[Smidget]

Thats what I think I am doing...Educating the boys. I am not going in their room searching for cd's that I dont approve of. The majority of music they listen to is that rap stuff. Which is fine I know that is what they like but when it crosses the line of the explicit words I found on the two I threw out then I think I have the option of ignoring it but telling them I dont like it or taking action. One of the other reasons I dont want to hear that music is because I am protecting the young ears in my house. Most of the music they listen to is Spanish and my kids are not fluent in spanish but the english music that has disgusting words I dont want my kids being able to listen to. :shocked I dont want my 6 yr old to come up to me and ask me "What does Getting Me Some Head mean?" Which would be something he would ask me............Out in public.

I listened to the IN music when I was a teenager and I didnt have alot of restriction of the type of music either but lets be honest the music when we were teens were not as bad as some of it was then. I know our parents thought that about our music but I honestly dont remember songs singing about women being called the "B"word and the things you "DO" to them. I think the explicit language is much worse than it was back "then". The fact that we got teens that are getting pregnant, being alcoholics, drug attidicts is proof of what we parents need to battle with. The music industry doesnt make our joy any easier....................

The scary thing is the only way we will know if we did our job as parents is after they grow up and they actually tell us the stuff they did behind our backs:think2.

i'm gonna play the devil's advocate here for a minute, and its not that i don't agree with you, but i have a little different perspective. No, such explicit words weren't used in music you listened to when you were growing up maybe, but to your parents that music was just as "tasteful" and "appropriate" as you think the boys' music is now. it all depends on society's views on things. the more accepting society gets, the worse the "unacceptable" gets although its just as bad in your eyes as your music was in your parents. Does that make sense?

And teen pregnancy, drug use, and alcohol use is nothing new...this isn't due to the music industry and the "worse" lyrics they allow. I listen to rap and I didn't get pregnant till i was 23, or develop a drug or alcohol addiction :shrug and everyone's right, its just a teen's nature...the more you try to prohibit something the more they want it. and they'll find a way to get it. its just what teens do. off limits is WAY more fun than stuff that's allowed. i'm sure when you were a teen you felt the same.

now, i totally agree with you that if you don't want that music in your house or in ear shot of your kids then that's fine. you have every right to make that rule and enforce it. i just have different views on a few things you said...