Sleep

[Iggy]

So elusive during that first year...

I've read all the sleep books. Ferber, Weissbluth, Pantley, Karp, Hogg, even a few that aren't commercially published. So I can tell you quite a bit about each method, although Pantley's "No-Cry" never made much sense to me. Harvey Karp's methods worked for quieting fussing when they were very small, but not when they got past about 4 months. I recommend watching his video "Happiest Baby on the Block." Check your local library for the sleep books. I liked Weissbluth's theories and explanations of sleep the best, his methods are very similar to Ferber's.

The Babywise books are officially on the blacklist of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Using their methods has been linked with failure to thrive and dehydration. I know a lot of people love Babywise, but after reading the AAP bulletins denouncing it, I never bothered to read it.

My boys were TERRIBLE sleepers, and a lot of it was my own fault. I was so exhausted, and so messed up from untreated PPD, that I always went for the quick fix, or even what seemed to be the quick fix, even if it was potentially a bad habit. My boys were swaddled and fell asleep at the bottle EVERY TIME until they were 13 months old. Yes, 13 months. They would not sleep unless they were swaddled (I had to make larger lightweight blankets to swaddle them during the summer), and they could not fall asleep unless they were at the bottle. I kept doing that even though I knew it was bad because I just wanted them to sleep so that I could sleep. They would wake every hour or so to eat. I never knew when they didn't *need* those night feedings, so I kept letting them do it. They generally ate a full bottle so I thought they were hungry.

By the time they were a year old, they were so entrenched in their bad sleep habits that none of the gentle sleep solutions worked. We Ferberized them at 13.5 months - DH took the brunt of it since dads can usually handle the crying better, I left the house for the evening - it took 3 nights and they were sleeping 12-13 hours at night and two 2 hour naps during the day. No bottles (we also dropped those right after Ferberizing them, they weren't interested in them anymore), no swaddling, no walking them around until they fell asleep. They cried the worst the first night, only a bit the second, and the third night they fussed a bit and then talked to each other and fell asleep. It worked like a dream for us, they were ready to sleep at that age and didn't know how to do it on their own. Now they run to their room when it's time for bed and try to climb in their cribs.

I don't think Ferber is the method for everyone. I don't believe in CIO for under 9 months. I think we needed drastic measures because I let them have such bad habits. The time we Ferberized them was also the time I finally got treated for PPD, so I was becoming a bit more functional then :lol I would have preferred not to do CIO, I tried to avoid it, but it was our last resort and it worked for us and has been good for me and the boys, and for me and DH.

Anyone else want to share their first-year sleep experiences?

[Mingle Bells]

:luv Iggy

I don't want to talk about Abby's sleeping habits. She still doesn't sleep through the night.

We did pretty much the same thing Iggy did, except we did it when they were about a year old. They had the same bad habits. We gave them a bottle every night. We wrapped them in theor blankets and set them in their car seats to rock them to sleep. We finally tried a modified CIO and they were golden after 3 nights.

[mermommy]

we are still learning, and Iggy I have the same PPD problems. I am exhausted and I just want to them to sleep. When someone is wide awake in the middle of the night, I try to convince my husband a bottle will do the trick. I have never had so little sleep in my life, and sleeping pills don't help me since I am woken up so much. :( We did CIO around 4 mos when it was really out of control, and we took away the pacifiers. That was the best thing we ever did. As far as CIO, that has gone out the window. If they cry, I know they won't go back to sleep and I go to them. It's just a tough tough ride!

[Cory]

My twins Matthew & Nicole are six months old. They both wake approx. every 1.5 to 2 hours all night. They will only fall asleep while nursing or having a bottle. I only give them 1 bottle (6 oz.) per day of formula to get them used to it. I am starting to feel very worn down because of the lack of sleep. I suggested to my husband recently that we sell one on ebay! (that was after an exceptionally bad night...)

I am new to this message board. I read in the message above, something about CIO - what is this?

Any suggestions anyone has to get my babies to sleep through the night would be greatly appreciated.

[Smidget]

OMG they're GORGEOUS!!! :wub

OK, CIO = Cry It Out. basically letting them cry themselves to sleep for however long it takes for them to realize that you're not coming back so they may as well go to sleep. there are different techniques and different beliefs for many people, so while it sounds easy, there are a lot of different ways to do it.

i don't do it yet. i probably won't for a long time. my girls are almost 5 months and are breastfed. i know they still need that middle of the night feeding or five. i started putting them down awake at 3 months so they didn't rely on boob for falling asleep. in the middle of the night i won't wake them back up, but initially when they go down, i burp them and wake them back up if they fall asleep nursing. i have also let them cry periodically, but never for more than 15 minutes or so.

it is difficult, and i don't really know what to tell you. i have issues with one of mine, but the other one is a GREAT sleeper. and the one with problems, she's usually good unless she's going through a phase.

are your's on and off like this, or is it consistent. if they go through phases it may just be teething or an upcoming milestone (i'm going through this right now with my Devonne). if not, i really have no clue :shrug

wish i could help more. but i'm glad ya found us! i can't wait to hear more about your beauties! :wub welcome!

[Snorkmaiden]

I'm dealing with sleep issues with one of my 12 month olds. My DS is a good sleeper and would sleep through were it not for my DD waking every couple of hours to comfort nurse. If I don't rush quickly to her side and latch her on to nurse she kicks up a fuss and then DS stirs and joins in with the crying.

I'm really pleased to have managed to breast feed for a year and I want to continue to nurse at bedtimes but I am so exhausted from the night-wakings. I know I am reinforcing a bad habit by allowing the comfort nursing to carry on, but as the OP says, it's a quick fix solution, which in the middle of the night is very tempting.

I have decided, however that tonight I am NOT going to nurse between the hours of 12 and 6am...it may be hell, but I think we have to go through hell to come out the other side and get a good night's sleep.:eek

[Selena]

My boys are 4 months old and are pretty good sleepers. The last month I've tried to establish some kind of routine, although I found a bath is not feasible every night. They have a bottle at 7pm and quiet attention from mummy and daddy until 8pm when they go to bed no matter how they are, asleep or wide awake or crying. They now can put themselves to sleep after around 15 minutes, and Mummy is very proud. I've found their first sleep is about 5 hours now, and after that they wake every 2-3 horus, so we wake them up at 10, or they eat asleep, so they wake at a more reasonable time. So at the moment they wake at either 2.30am and 5.30 then morning is 7am, or sometimes they've started only waking once, around 4am. Sometimes I can put them back down at 7 for another hour's bliss in bed. It's getting easier now they are more interested in toys and will stay in bed longer quietly if they have something to look at.

My dilemma at the moment is what to do when one wakes up and the other is sleeping-maybe one will make it through the night if i leave him, or he will wake up an hour later meaning I wake 4 times in the night?!

[Smidget]

that's awesome that they're sleeping more selena! i remember mine got MUCH better around that age as far as putting themselves to sleep and staying asleep a little longer. for a long time, like until last week :para i was guilty of when one woke up just waking and feeding the other one. i was afraid that if i didn't, she'd wake up as soon as i went back to bed, or like an hour later or something. but DH got up with my Devonne the other night and fed her and didn't wake Alanna up. and Alanna never woke up! So, its up to you how you want to do it. At your boys' age now, its guaranteed that they'll wake up, so you may want to just wake the other to make sure you're getting sleep. like i said, i just started letting Alanna stay down, and its only because i KNOW she'll sleep all the way until morning.

[Sizzle Muffin]

I only had issues with Kaeden and sleeping. He never slept through the night and was constantly waking up. I knew it was nothing I was doing wrong because Brooklyn, who receives the same amount of attention etc was sleeping just fine in the same room.

At about 5-6ish months I did CIO. I didnt want to but I had tried everything and I was exhausted. All the gentler stuff, just wasnt working for him.
At this time my DH was working from 5am-5pm and I was completely alone with the twins, I was just physically, emotionally drained.
I read a lot of different techniques for CIO, I really researched it before I attempted it.

We had a bedtime routine etc. Bath, bottle, bed. No night lights, no messing around. Dim lights while feeding etc. We created the whole 'bedtime' thing.

So, when Kaeden would get put down we would walk out and shut the door. As usual he would start screaming. After 15 mins if he hadnt stopped DH would go in, no talking..soothing humming and rub his back (stick his soother in if it was out) but NEVER picking him up
When he settled, DH would leave again..for awhile DH had to go in 4 or 5 times before Kaeden went to sleep.

After about a couple days of that, the amount of times DH had to go into the room lessened and lessened and Kaeden was sleeping 12 hours through the night

At about 7 - 8 months, the need to go back into the room has completely diminished.

At 10 months, they are both still sleeping 12-13 hours through the night. Kaeden no longer needs us to come in and rub his back, when he is put to bed he is able to self soothe and fall asleep on his own AND he no longer requires a soother/pacifer at bedtime at all (brooklyn stopped taking a pacifier at 4 months on her own)

I swear by CIO and I think there is a huge stigma attached to CIO..that its mean, babies needs arent being met etc. IMO i think CIO can be done in a gentle, caring way and I think what works, works!

[Sizzle Muffin]

oh and when they were younger and still eating through the night, if one woke up DH would get up and feed the other that way both were fed and kept on the same schedule and we weren't waking up 6 times a night.

When they got older after CIO neither one wakes in the night so its never an issue, they both get up in the morning and have breakfast at 7am and are back to bed for 7pm

[Trolldeelocks]

I used to have one good sleeper...at two or three months old she went down awake and sucked her thumb to sleep...and one bad sleeper...he needed to be rocked or swaddled, cried no matter what before going to sleep. Then at seven months, the good one became bad and vice versa. Teething, colds, whatever changed my good one. Finally at ten months, I let my daughter fuss for about twenty five minutes and she fell asleep. The next night was less and the third night was perfect. Now at almost eleven months, they're doing really well. Some problems here and there but generally they're good for eleven hours at night. I don't believe in any one method. I think you have to know your child and what they're ready for. At one time, I never would have let mine cry. Then one day I realized my daughter was perfectly capable of going to sleep on her own, so I gave it a shot.

[crazycase]

I had one baby with a touch of colic, she cried ALL the time and one who slept in her carseat for about 11 months. I finally got them sleeping through at about 9 months. It was hard, I had no idea what I was doing and doing that with twins. It was crazy. They still wake some nights but only for a binky and right back to sleep! They sleep from between 6pm-7pm til 7am!

We did use CIO for both of them IN MODERATION for a few months.

[Smidget]

i wanted to add that i could NEVER do CIO. not that i have anything against it, cuz i don't. if it works for you, great. i just can't stand to hear my babies cry. i'll go sleepless if i have to just to make them happy. them crying is my downfall. thank god i have two good sleepers (now anyway). they've both been going down awake since 3 months old and soothing themselves to sleep. one went through a phase where she woke up an hour later and took 2-3 hours to go back down, but that's over now.

[Tina]

ok my twins are 5 months old and sleep 8-9 hours at night. A few pointers. Put down the books and listen. Babies don't do anything but eat sleep and poop. The only way the expend energy is to cry. So let them cry alittle. Feed them, change them and put them to bed at the same time every night. Use a Source of White Noise such as a Humidifier or Fan and use a binky don't make eye contact with them sing to them if they need some soothing or comfort. They are young but they understand cause and effect. So dont get them every time they utter a whimper. Let them know that its bedtime and they're not getting out of it. be firm and let love be your guide. But also take care of yourelf sleep is important to their well being and yours.

[twinbears]

I never did a method. I think they started sleeping through the nights at about 5 months. I gave them a bottle right before bed I had just gave up nursing...long story wish I hadn't but save that for another day. SO they would drink it I would lay them down in their cribs turn out the light and they would be out uusally until 7 the next day. Not saying they never woke up but not very often.

[bluezelda32]

My twins are now 6 1/2 mos. As for sleeping routines we started the bath, bed and bottle routine at about 4 mos. We don't do baths everyday because I'm just too tired and drained as well. But i do some routine like change into their oneseis or jumpers to let them know it's a transition for bed. They know this now. I give them their last bottle at about 8ish and then they go to bed. If they are falling asleep I usually let them finish their bottle and put them to bed. If they are awake I still finish their bottle and put them to bed. Either way they know it's bedtime. Sometimes they fuss for a while and eventually fall asleep. Sometimes it takes up to 20 min to get them to sleep or as soon as 5. Either way this is the routine we've made. So far so good. They now sleep until 4:30 or so and we've been increasing the time. We started at 2:30 in the am and now we're up to 4:30 am. So far so good... unless they get sick.. this is what we do..

BTW Selena when one of them wakes up... usually it's Isabella, I just leave her alone and she falls back asleep.

[bluezelda32]

ok my twins are 5 months old and sleep 8-9 hours at night. A few pointers. Put down the books and listen. Babies don't do anything but eat sleep and poop. The only way the expend energy is to cry. So let them cry alittle. Feed them, change them and put them to bed at the same time every night. Use a Source of White Noise such as a Humidifier or Fan and use a binky don't make eye contact with them sing to them if they need some soothing or comfort. They are young but they understand cause and effect. So dont get them every time they utter a whimper. Let them know that its bedtime and they're not getting out of it. be firm and let love be your guide. But also take care of yourelf sleep is important to their well being and yours.

I agree with Tina... I was getting so worked up on these stupid books! I was worried sick that mine weren't doing what the book was saying or I wasn't doing stuff right! I stopped reading! It's just guidelines anyway. Now if only we can get the solids down... we'll be okay! LOL

[sneums]

I realize I am lucky with my twins at 11 weeks only getting up 1 time during the night. I was told to feed them both at the same time, but what happens when you think one will sleep through the night and one is up crying? I would like to see if the other one would cry themselves back to sleep as the cry isn't to dramatic. I just am afraid the other one will wake up too. Anybody know the answer??

[Trolldeelocks]

I realize I am lucky with my twins at 11 weeks only getting up 1 time during the night. I was told to feed them both at the same time, but what happens when you think one will sleep through the night and one is up crying? I would like to see if the other one would cry themselves back to sleep as the cry isn't to dramatic. I just am afraid the other one will wake up too. Anybody know the answer??

I would NOT wake a sleeping baby at night even if the other one is up. Mine woke each other up and I let them cry each other back to sleep. I dreaded trying it but it wasn't bad. I think the comfort of knowing they had each other there helped. It wasn't full on CIO but they did fuss for a few minutes until they went back to sleep. Not one sleep problem since then. I think 11 weeks is a bit early for letting them cry...I didn't start until about 9 months.