how long will I be able to work?

[2ontheway]

Hey there! I am somewhat new to the site, but I have a question. I am hoping some of the experienced moms of twins can answer this question and I can get an idea based on a variety of experiences. My doctors have been saying all along that I would likely go out of work at 26-28 weeks on bed rest, just due to fatigue and discomfort with being up walking around and to avoid pre-term labor. That was fine by me until I lost my job at 15 weeks, after disclosing my pregnancy. But here I am now, approaching 20 weeks, and I am hoping/expecting to get a job offer today or tomorrow.

I had an interview that went really well on Friday, and they've already called at least two of my references (**yeah!!!!!). I don't know whether or not to tell them when they call to make the offer or wait until after I begin work. I don't want to breed a feeling of ill will by waiting until after they hire me, and let's face it, they can fire me within 90 days for any reason they want anyway, with no fear of legal repercussions. If I tell them when they make the offer, at least if they retract it, it will save all of us the annoyance of me starting work for no reason, and distracting me from trying to get another job with someone who wants to keep me. The good news is, the company sells HR software, so they know the law (but then so did my last company).

I am the primary breadwinner in my household and me not having a job for the next 7 months is going to make our life very, very hard.

So I have two questions: How long should I honestly expect to be able to work? And how would any of you handle when to tell them? I am showing pretty good now, but managed to successfully hide it during the interview with a jacket.

Dawn

[Supercalafragilistic]

Wow. This is a tough one. If they offer you the job, you then tell them that you are pregnant and they then retract, well, you can sue.

Let me think moreon this.

[Supercalafragilistic]

Okay, and I forgot to say that I worked until I was 36 weeks along. At the time, I worked in retail, and near the end of my pregnancy,they only had me cashiering and I had a nice comfy chair behind my register to sit in. Really, how long you work depends on how comfortable you are and whether or not you are having any problems.

[Duck]

I got fired from 1 job for being fired, and another one I had problems with a couple of people because of it. When I started working at Wal-mart I was starting to show already, but no one said anything about it for a while. I never did figure out a good time to tell them, so I tried to wear clothes that showed it when I went for the interview.

As for how long you can work, it really depends on your pregnancy. I worked pretty much until I went into labor and got put on bedrest. But then again, I ended up having my boys a week later at 33 1/2 weeks, so I don't know if I would advise working that long, but it really depends.

I hope you get the job and that they don't retract the offer right away and that you can work a good portion of your pregnancy :crossed

[Candyland]

I worked until 38 weeks and had them the next day. I was miserable but I was determined to use all of my leave for when the babies were here.

As long as you have no restrictions you are not required to tell them you are pregnant. Though if you are anticipating keeping this job after the babies it would be a good idea to let them know now. Do you plan to take a lot of time off after the babies? If you get offered the job I would tell them my plans of leave. If they offer it to you they can NOT change their minds because you are pregnant. They CAN take away the offer if you have restrictions that would interfere with you doing the job.

Good luck!

[Smidget]

i agree that if this is a job you're interested in keeping after the girls are born, tell them when they make the offer. and if you really want to avoid the hassle of starting to work and then getting fired (because they can't legally retract it based on your pregnancy alone), ask them if they have any issues with it because if they do you'll save both of you the trouble and not take the job. that's what i'd do at least.

as for how long you can work, i never really worked. i got a part time job for a little while when i got overwhelmed with how much stuff we needed and couldn't afford, but only worked about 4 weeks. and that was when i was like 20 weeks or so. but the doctors may not be right, either. they tend to err on the side of caution in my experience. i was told i would NEVER make it past 35-36 weeks with my girls, and i had a scheduled c-section at 38w 1d. i never dilated or anything. i swear they'd still be in here if we hadn't made em come out lol. i'd say as long as your comfortable and there are no complications, just keep working :)

[2ontheway]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I feel a little better about thinking I will be able to work longer. I am a project manager, so it is a desk job. I might even be able to work from home for a while if they are ok with that. I don't have any restrictions that would prevent me from doing the job they are hiring me to do. So yes, if they offer the job and then retract it, I could sue. But I already have a lawsuit pending against my former employer who fired me at 15 weeks! The flip side is that I can't refuse a job offer at all and still be eligible for unemployment. If I get a job offer, I have to take it. I don't have the luxury of actually coming out and saying, "If you are just going to fire me later, I'll just not take the job", although that is what I'd love to say. The whole situation stinks!

Duck, so when did you actually tell them since you were showing but no one said anything? I am fairly certain that they could not tell during the interview. That was intentional on my part because I wanted to be evaluated for the job based on my qualifications, so I could gauge how the interview went and whether I got an offer based on that, not my pregnancy. But I am thinking if they call to offer me the job, I am going to ask some questions about insurance coverage and mention that I am pregnant during that phone call, rather than just showing up in maternity clothes on my first day, and being like "I thought y'all knew!" I guess I could do that. I just don't want them to be thinking that I hid it from them and create bad vibes because this job is perfect for me!

[zak frost]

I so hope you get the job! **sending get the job vibes**

I worked a few short term temp jobs while I was pregnant. I could only work at night because of daycare and that made it hard to find things. I had my twins at 37 weeks and went to work the day they turned 7 weeks old. I worked part time at night and DH worked during the day. We tag teamed them instead of having daycare (because we couldn't afford daycare).

[gypsymom]

I got fired from a job really early on, too. I ended up getting unemployment until a month and a half before the babies were born, which was really helpful. I was on a modified bed rest that I didn't adhere to very well and had to be induced at 39 weeks. I think I could have worked a desk job or retail like Kebs did for awhile. I did prenatal yoga still at week 38.

[Duck]

Duck, so when did you actually tell them since you were showing but no one said anything? I am fairly certain that they could not tell during the interview. That was intentional on my part because I wanted to be evaluated for the job based on my qualifications, so I could gauge how the interview went and whether I got an offer based on that, not my pregnancy. But I am thinking if they call to offer me the job, I am going to ask some questions about insurance coverage and mention that I am pregnant during that phone call, rather than just showing up in maternity clothes on my first day, and being like "I thought y'all knew!" I guess I could do that. I just don't want them to be thinking that I hid it from them and create bad vibes because this job is perfect for me!

Well, I had the luxury of working for them in the past, so I knew a lot of upper management. (side note, the day I got fired from my job I went to Wal-mart and applied. The next day I had an interview, the next day after that I had the second interview and got unofficially hired that same day. Unofficially because I still had to pass the drug test which they knew I would. So, they really liked me :) ) I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while and told her while I was working, when someone commented that they didn't know I was pregnant, I decided to go to manangement and explain myself. I already knew them all really well, so they were cool with it and knew that I wasn't trying to deceived them that I just really thought they would notice. So, I would really suggest being upfront and honest (especially if you plan to go back to it after leave). I think your idea of talking about insurance and bringing it up is a really good idea.

Also, I have to give you props for sueing! I didn't have the guts or ambition to do it.

Good luck!!!!!

[Ringlette]

I was going to school fulltime and not working when I was put on modified bedrest at 28 weeks. That basically meant that I was on house arrest, so I had to take incompletes in my classes. I was okay with that though, because I was so big and uncomfortable at that point, and I couldn't fit in any of the desks.:snicker

I hope they are okay with you being pregnant, and you get the job!

[WendyDixie]

Well I was put on bed rest between 23 or 26 weeks I think. I went into pre-term labor. I work as a software tech sitting all day at a desk. So that was the end of work for me. The I delivered at 34 weeks. I am also tiney 5'1" and 110 lbs (barely) so I don't knwo if that had to do with it or not

If you get called and given a offer I would be up front and let them know I was pregnant right then and there.

[Free Bird]

I'm not going to be very helpful in the work length department because I went into labor early on (I have a history of early labor with all pregnancies) and ended up on bedrest between 18-20 weeks. With that being said, I kno wmany people who worked till the very end. Like everyone else has said, it depends on your comfort level.

As far as telling you potential employer, I would mention it when you get offered the job. IMO, they will value your honesty and see that you value the job. When they make the offer maybe you can say something like...
"I'm not sure if you noticed during the interview or not but, I am pregnant and due on xx/xx/xx. I plan on continuing to work until the very end if possible. I would love to accept the job and look forward to continuing my employment with you once I give birth." (I ran this by a my sister who is in involved in interviewing for the law firm she works for, and she said that sounded good. In her opinion, she would hire someone that was honest like that)

Hope that was helpful and I wish you all the luck in your job hunt and your pregnancy. I look farward to talking to you more.

[2ontheway]

The "get the job" vibes worked Zakity! :bananadance2

And during the offer conversation, I asked the insurance and short term disability questions and mentioned twice that I am pregnant. I said it the second time because when I said it the first time, she had no reaction at all, just took it in stride, so I wasn't sure she even heard me! She didn't even ask how far along I am. She was super professional and remained excited that I was accepting the offer. :ozzy

My offer letter and benefits info were FedExed yesterday so I am waiting on it today! Yeah!!!!! Thanks, Duck, for reassuring me that my approach was a good idea. Everyone I talked to just said "I don't know, that is tough." Even my best friend! No one wanted to tell me the wrong way to handle it, LOL. :wiggle

Gypsy mom, why was your unemployment cut off so soon, if you don't mind me asking? Did it have to do with the fact that you were pregnant and therefore not physically able to work? I am worried if they decide not to hold my job that I will run into that!

Duck, thanks for the props for suing. At a minimum, any woman who gets fired while pregnant and thinks she was fired for that reason should report it to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. That launches an investigation. Once an company goes thru that, believe me, they will be watching their ass in a major way before firing another pregnant woman. So, if you do that little thing, you could save another woman's job! :p And if you sue, try not to settle under the terms that you won't file with the EEOC. This means the employer wants to keep doing this and "paying off" the women they fire rather than paying their benefits and short term disability while they are out of work. This behavior perpetuates the overall problem! Okay, I'm done preachin' now. :amen

[Candyland]

:woot That is great news! I hope you love your new job!

[Spuds]

:hotdog WTG! I am glad things are looking up!

[Supercalafragilistic]

I'm so happy for you! :woot

[WendyDixie]

:yay for the job. I am so glad that you got it. :Wee

[Smidget]

congratulations! that's AWESOME news!

[2ontheway]

Thanks everyone! I'm so glad I joined this list. You guys are great.

[zak frost]

Woohoo!! I am soo glad you got the job!! I am so glad that they didn't even blink!! Now....keeping my fingers crossed that you keep them in for alot longer!!

[I Am Schmoopie]

I worked until 26 weeks. I was planning on going until 28 weeks, but due to a long commute and too many braxton hicks - they wrote me out early on disability. I had tons and tons of BH my whole pregnancy, but I was really lucky they didn't ever change my cervix! WOOT!

[I Am Schmoopie]

Oh, Oh, oh! I missed the rest - CONGRATS on the new job! So very nice!