Please post your breastfeeding stories here...

[SnowBirdie]

please share your stories with us. we want to know how you got through rough times, how you solved problems, what you loved/disliked about it, and how long you breastfed for/plan to bf for. this will really help a prospective or new mom make it through those tough nights when all she has for support is her computer and a few minutes to read.

thanks!

[Wasabañero]

The girls were born at 858 & 9am on a Friday.. they went to the NICU for a few hours (around 5hrs) and then finally came to my room... i asked for the BF nurse, and they told me she had already gone home for the weekend... so i tried fumbling with everything.. i never got to take the BF classes...
I went all weekend not knowing if i was doing anything correctly.. and they kept giving me formula saying not to worry about it... they had already given them formula in the NICU... without even asking me what i had planned to do...
Anyway... the following week was hell.. i cried... i called around to every hospital, BF supply store etc.. and begged for help... finally i got a hold of the LN at the hospital i delivered. She told me that the nurses had told her that I said i didn't need help.. that i was OK.... I was OK????? WHAT THE F EVER!!!!
Anyway... by this time.. i was frustrated... i wasn't producing squat... well.. definitely not enough... they had me rent a pump, and pump every 2 hours.. i got no sleep... esp after feeding the girls... i didn't increase any supply.. it was a nightmare...
I should add that in 2000 I had a breast redux done... and the dr told me i wouldn't be able to BF... when i started lactating... i was in heaven... i was so excited... i wanted nothing more than to BF my girls...
I was told i produced enough to possibly feed one baby.. but twins.. no... i could alternate.. then pump & pray.. and formula feed the other... but there was just no way... so after a month, i pretty much gave up.. i gave in to formula.. i cried.. i felt like such a failure.. i was angry.. DH thought i had gone mad... He tried and tried to console me and tell me i did the best i could...

Anyway... The moral of the story.. for anyone who wants to BF, but is put in any similar situation... FIGHT! Don't take no for an answer.. i think if i would have gotten help that first day, and not let it go 4 days in the hospital without any help.. things may have been different...

Sorry this was such a long response.. i just felt like maybe someone would learn from my mistake..

[Twingles]

Moni:hug.

[Twingles]

Breastfeeding is such a wonderful experience. I'm not sure I have words to describe the feeling you have when you look down at that sweet face nuzzling against you or they look of love & trust in their eyes as they look up at you:pinkheart . Its just awesome.

That being said it didn't come easy for me with Sam or the twins. Sam was born @ 35wks d/t pre-eclampsia. He was in the NICU for a few days and I didn't started to pump until 24hrs after his birth (like Moni incompetant, lazy nurses-and I'm a nurse). He did not latch on at all and I remember being in the hospital crying after trying for hrs to get him to latch on with no help from the nurses. He was very jaundiced and didn't eat for over 13 hrs the day after I took him home, that evening I finally got him to latch on. Where he was early he would stick his tongue to the roof of his mouth when trying to nurse, he just didn't know how to nurse and neither did I. I kept at it and we finally both caught on but I would only let him nurse on 1 side for fear I wouldn't have enough milk for the next time (I did say I was clueless about bf'ing). The first 2 months he cried constantly, would draw his knees up like his stomach hurt and had projectile vomiting. I called the Dr.s office a few times and the nurse would just tell me he was colicky???? Finally at his 2mos check-up the Dr. realized he was still jaundiced and something wasn't right (duh!). So even if your a first time mom, trust your instincts with your child, if you feel something is wrong push the issue. After bloodwork and tests they determined Sam was allergic to milk and milk products (food and milk I was eating), so I had to cut all milk and milk products out of my diet. Goodbye milk, chocolate, bread, anything with whey, curds, cassinate etcc was strictly off limits. After the first 24hrs of doing this Sam was like a new baby. He was happy and nursed without crying. I was able to nurse him for 9mos before my milk supply ran out (not being able to have dairy and only bf'ing from one side each time).

Max & Mia were born at 36wks and healthy. Mia was a champ nurser but Max was very weak and slow. I feed them seperately b/c she would be done in 20min but he would take atleast an hour in the beginning. But I have jumped ahead a little. After my c-section at 1pm I was puking my guts up until @ 10p that evening. I attempted to bf once but after that couldn't lift my head up without throwing up, so the first 20hrs I didn't nurse or pump.

The day after I came home my milk came in. I remember waking up from a long nap (with the twins in bed with me) totally huge and engorged. They wanted to eat every 2hrs around the clock and I was sooooooo exhausted. After they were 1mos old I tried to stretch it out to every 3hrs but they would scream until I fed them. I was so exhausted, depressed and didn't want to eat the first few months that I felt my supply was not keeping up with the demand. I wanted to supplement with formula but they refused the bottle and my dh was very supportive of me bf'ing the twins. Eventually my supply did pick up (but it took a few months). I remember telling my Pedi in the hospital I planned on bf'ing and he kinda of gave me the "are you crazy" look and acted like I wouldn't be able to. But I did bf them and I did it for 20 months!!!!:woot I breastfeed them when we all had RSV and felt so bad I can't even describe it. I breastfed them when they had thrush and passed it to my nipples and it felt like they were sucking glass from my nipples, every feeding I would cry b/c I knew the pain that was coming. I breastfed them when I was getting really weary and tired of having 2 babies/toddlers hanging from me. I breastfed them when alot of people said I couldn't, but I did and I'm so happy I had that experience and I'm proud of what I accomplished:flowers .

So to all you new mothers wanting to breastfeed, hang in there it can be done. It does take sacrifice but with support you can do it. It will be some of the happiest and sweetest memories that you will have of your babies and you will have a great feeling of accomplishment that you where able to nurture your babies.

[Lola Starr]

Breastfeeding, The Non-Traditional Way



I did not have a clue when it came to breastfeeding. I did not even know if I was going to do it. I remember when people would ask me while I was pregnant I would just tell them I had no clue. I well quite the inexperienced rookie! I had to make a decision fast when my twins, Alexandra & Anneliese, ended up debuting at 32 weeks 4 days. The first time I saw my sweet girls in their incubators in the NICU, I knew what I had to do. At that moment I dedicatedmyself to milk making. Of course, they were so small that latching was not really an option. I had absolutely no clue how to use a breast pump & even though the lactation consultant at the hosptial came & gave me a demonstration on the hospital grade double electric, I was so embarrased about her seeing me bare chested I did not remember ANYTHING she told me. So, here I am in my hospital room trying to pump & I don't even have the valves screwed on correctly & I was getting no where!

I was frustrated.

I was discharged & instead of renting that machine I couldn't operate I went out & bought a small, battery operated single pump. It took me over an hour to pump both breasts, but my girls were in the NICU & all I had was time. I spent my days making milk & although they were on Neosure for growth, I still pumped & took my milk to the NICU nightly. After 2 weeks that pump broke. Inconvienently, it broke at 1am mid pump & I freaked out because I was so engorged, leaking profusely & in a lot a pain. I sent my DH to the 24 hour drug store for a hand pump. I then proceeded to hand pump for a month... long after the girls were discharged. I would pump, feed & repeat. Sleep was a luxury I knew nothing about.

I was very frustrated.

Finally an internet angel gave me some much needed encouragment & some useful advice. She told me to get a double electric Medela & I shuddered at the price. I ended up buying a used Pump in Style from another twin mom for $160.00. At the time that was a huge chunk of change, but I cannot tell you the money it saved me! My milk production sky rocketed & I think I made enough milk for 3 sets of twins! I made enough to exclusively breastfeed my twins! I do not think formula is the devil, but I look at my healthy children & swell with pride knowing my milk made them strong.

I tried for the next month or so to get them to latch. I was actively producing milk, but I was tired of not having the "bond". They simply would not budge from the bottle & I continued pumping... and the next thing I knew a year went by.

So for one long year I pumped round the clock & cared for my infant twins. I know I missed out on the "bond", but I also know that I have healthy, beautiful girls & I am proud. Through the 2 rounds of mastitis, losing my job because of my pump schedule & never being able to leave home without my black bag, I know that this was the most selfless act I've ever committed.

I would like to extend my help to anyone not able to nurse, but who still wants to breastfeed. It can be done!

[Wasabañero]

Thank you MamaBirdie & Twingles... I hate that it happened too.. but.. it did... i guess i learned a big lesson for next time (if there is one) :)

[Twingles]

Meags your the woman!!! Alot of people would have given up in frustration. You did awesome:)

[SnowBirdie]

twingles! that is wonderful you overcame the lack of help, and you did an awesome thing for them by bf them so long. you gave them a super wonderful start they will benefit from their whole lives. i salute you for giving up dairy for him, too. i did it too, and i know how hard it can be. wow! thanks for sharing with us.:clap :clap :clap

lola, all i can say is you overcome many obstacles that most people would have given up from, and you have lucky babies that you persisted and pumped that long. way to go lola! that is very impressive! thanks for giving us your story, since i am sure it will save other moms from going through what you did. :clap :clap :clap

[Iggy]

My breastfeeding story is, unfortunately, not a success, but at least I know now why - because of the underarousal of the mouth that is contributing to their speech delays, they did not have any of the normal baby reflexes for feeding. They never could get a good latch, or open their mouths properly. They never stuck out their tongue when they opened their mouths.

They were 34 weekers. I had preeclampsia and had to be on a mag sulf drip for 24 hours after they were born, so I couldn't try to nurse them until after that was out of my system. As soon as the nurses gave me the ok, I tried to breastfeed Christian (Dominic was under the oxyhood still so I couldn't nurse him). The hospital's lactation consultant came by to help me and kept saying he would get the hang of it and open his mouth the way he was supposed to as he got older. We ended up at home with me pumping. My let-down is apparently weird, because I could pump for 45 minutes with a slow but steady flow the entire time. I pumped every 3 hours around the clock for the first couple of weeks, for 45 minutes (double pumping with a Medela Classic hospital-grade pump). I did all the tricks for increasing milk production to make sure I had enough for both of them: oatmeal, root beer, staying hydrated, fenugreek and blessed thistle. I pumped 90-100 ounces a day, and that usually kept me a bit ahead of them. But at 6 weeks they started eating much more, and I stepped up to every 2 hours to keep up with them. I got a little more milk, usually about 120oz a day, but it was exhausting. I slept maybe 45 minutes a day. Some days I'd sleep 45 minutes, wake up and pump, sleep another half hour, and that was it. We saw a lactation consultant twice a week, and they couldn't get the boys to open their mouths to latch. When they were hungry they would cry but would push away and close their mouths when I tried to breastfeed. Even with a bottle, they would push it away, and I'd have to stick it in their mouth and let it drip a bit before they realized there was milk. The lactation consultants kept telling me that eventually they would develop the normal baby reflexes and be able to nurse, but they never did. At 13 weeks I was just so exhausted I couldn't do it anymore, and I gave up. My mother, my husband, and my obstetrician all talked to me about it, that I was killing myself trying to make them breastfeed. My mother is very anti-formula, nursed all 4 of her children. It was only when she told me it was ok to quit and just give them a bottle that I felt like I could.

It never even occurred to me that I might have problems breastfeeding. It wasn't even an issue, it was just what I was going to do. I had friends come over who had nursed their children and try to help me get the hang of it, but even once I'd learned exactly what I was supposed to do (I must have read a dozen nursing books, and after making so many trips to the LC I felt like I could've done their job, and I had pretty much memorized kellymom.com), my boys never reacted the way they were supposed to. I felt so horrible that I couldn't nurse my babies, I cried for months. I still have terrible guilt over quitting, and wish I had stuck it out longer, but I don't think anything would have changed. There were just too many contributing factors to make it near impossible for us. Breastfeeding is still a touchy subject for me because of this experience. Breast is best IMO but women shouldn't be castigated for being unable to breastfeed. Some of us did try very hard and couldn't do it.

Anyway that's my story.

[SnowBirdie]

iggy, you gave them a wonderful gift with all that bm they got from you, and i totally admire anyone who could last as long as you did with that pumping schedule!!! i am not a fan of formula in most circumstances either, but it wasn't going to help your babies for you to have a physical breakdown (or emotional, for that matter, on no sleep), get sick, and not be able to take care of them at all (knowing they still wouldnt' have been able to nurse any time soon), and you should be really proud of yourself for sticking with it enough to give them a good start. you did a wonderful job of that, and sounds to me as if you should get an award for trying and giving them bm so long!!! :friends :flowers

you said in your post you gave up, but i really don't think you did that at all. you just realized that they weren't going to be able to bf for awhile if at all, and although you reached out for help and got the best available, you had a difficult decision to make, and it sounds as if you made the right one for you and your boys. hindsight is great, but you were in the trenches of a horrible situation, and it sounds to me as if you made the decision that was right for your family. :friends2

please try to remind yourself that you have given so much of yourself to keeping them safe and healthy over their lifetimes, and that in the long run, if you try to balance whether they got bm for 6 months or if mom was not there at all or very sick, which matters more? you couldn't control their feeding issues, right? so you did the best you could, and it sounds as if you did a pretty damn good job of it! when you feel guilty about it, please picture us all giving you a pat on the back and congratulating you for what you DID accomplish. you are one awesome mommy! :clap :clap :clap :clap

oh, and thanks for sharing your story. i am sure it was hard to post, and we appreciate you adding it to our resources! :friends

[Iggy]

Thanks Ruth Anne :hug

[SnowBirdie]

iggy :hugs

[Pop Tart]

I'm almost done and I'm trying to get Alan to write something from the dad's perspective, too.

[SnowBirdie]

oh, tarty! that is perfect. we will have a whole area for dads to add things like what you described, and we REALLY need his input too. we will be looking forward to both your stories! :clap :clap

[Twintastic]

I am up to this point in recording names of submitters.

[gypsymom]

I'll do this, I swear...things have been a little nuts.


Iggy :hugs Thank you for sharing your story. I think it's important for people to hear a variety of stories. Maybe yours will encourage or reassure someone else. I can't imagine how you must have felt/feel. You are an awesome, dedicated mother and I admire and respect you so much. Try not to feel too bad about how it went for you, you did what you could and you have two handsome, amazing little boys who are healthy and strong. :wub


Tarty, :pinkheart

[Pop Tart]

The confessions of an extended-nursing twin mom.

For just over 13 months now, I have been breastfeeding my twin girls. It was never a question in my mind about whether I wanted to breastfeed them. I had experienced breastfeeding my boys, now 8 and 6, and I was sure I could do it with these two new infants. I was determined to make it work, and the payoff has been fantastic, but it was not an easy road.

They were born at 34 without any major problems. After my recovery, I was told they’d be brought to me that night. I waited and waited and finally a nurse told me that there was a mistake and would remain in the NICU. They were fine, but weren’t allowed to leave. I immediately requested a breast pump. I knew from all of my research and online support that the best thing for them was breast milk, and I was determined to provide what I could for them, even if I couldn’t see them.

That was a long night. I was told I couldn’t see them until 6AM. I was devastated that the girls weren’t allowed to be with me, but I knew they were getting the best care possible. I was up every 2 hours pumping colostrum. I did this for 2 days, pumping every 2-3 hours, wondering when I’d finally be able to nurse them myself. I was afraid they wouldn’t latch because they were given bottles initially, I was afraid I wouldn’t make enough milk to satisfy them. They were also jaundiced and I was told that formula was a better “cure” than breast milk for that. I was a little discouraged, but every time I visited, I fed them the pumped colostrum/milk and followed it with formula, and then I returned to my room to pump more. I slept for an hour at a time, saw my babies, came back to pump and slept for another hour.

On day 3, I was finally given the “ok” to nurse the girls. They didn’t take to it immediately, each baby nursing 5 minutes at most. I spoke with a Lactation Consultant and she said that after each session, I needed to pump 15 minutes more to get my supply up as high as we could. So, I was back on the same sleep, visit/breastfeed/bottle feed, pump schedule. It was a long 5 days, but we made it through and the girls came home with me.

At home, I was still under orders to rotate breast milk and formula, because of the jaundice. I juggled them as best I could, and finally did some research. Breast milk is just as good as formula when it comes to jaundice, I learned, so I stopped the formula and just started to nurse them on demand, and I still pumped afterwards, keeping my supply up.

Within a week, my right breast became inflamed and I had a fever. Mastitis struck me with a vengeance. It didn’t stop there, because the next week, my left breast had it, too. I nursed through the pain of mastitis, and through the pain of newborns learning how to feed. My nipples were chapped, red, and rough and hurt if you even looked at them the wrong way. Plus, I was still pumping every other session, rotating breastfeeding and bottle feeding breast milk. A few weeks later, things seemed to be going well. I had stopped pumping, unless they slept through a nursing session, and my supply was adequate. Then, after a few days of feeling like a hot poker was being shoved through my breast, I discovered a tiny white bump on the tip of my nipple. I had a milk blister. I wanted to quit. It was too much for me at that point. I’d been breastfeeding them for 6 weeks and I was tired of fighting to be a cow. I was tired, frustrated and discouraged… but I continued on. Even though I was miserable, there was nothing better than listening to the sounds of my daughters nursing.

Well, I popped the blister, which is NOT recommended, but I was desperate. When I wore a bra, it rubbed against the blister. When I didn’t wear one, I leaked milk. When they nursed, it hurt so badly. There wasn’t a lot of frozen breast milk left, so I was their sole source of food and they were eating every 2-3 hours. I had to do something, and my rock-hard breasts weren’t ready to quit. After I popped it, things were better. It was still sore but manageable. It actually came back a week later, but that time I managed it with hot compresses.

I exclusively breastfed them until they were about 4 ½ months, when I decided to try solids. All of their food was mixed with breast milk and they took to it fairly well. It was nice to see them able to consume food that didn’t require my shirt to be tossed aside. This is also the time when I began nursing them one at a time. Not for every feeding, but for some, and we finally got to experience a little bit of one-on-one bonding time. They also started holding hands when we would tandem nurse.

Around 6 months, we were on 3 meals a day, and nursing between those meals, plus still waking 2-3 times during the night. At 10 months, they became mobile and wanted to nurse on all fours. They also started clapping while eating, and pulling my nipples to their mouths and biting, pinching and squeezing my breasts into interesting positions.

Now, they see me get into position on the couch and they giggle and grin and fight their way over to me. They smile and bounce while nursing, play peek-a-boo and just enjoy their time at the breast. I’m asked occasionally when I’m going to wean them, but I have no answer. I see how far they’ve come, how big they are and what happy and healthy babies they are and I cannot imagine ever making them stop. I know one day I’ll have my breasts back, and I can wait as long as it takes.

Sorry I'm late!!

[SnowBirdie]

oh, tarty! thanks for your story! it is so sad how many times moms are pushed into formula and misinformed. i am glad you got it all worked out, and cool you are still bf!!!!! you have some lucky girls that you are letting them still get your magic milk :)

i feel your pain on the milk blisters, and i have carefully popped a few myself. thanks for sharing!!:friends2