How did/do you adjust to having multiples?

[SnowBirdie]

We want to add to our GZ resources some info on adjusting to the idea of twins/multiples. Please share with us how you got used to and coped with having twins as opposed to a singleton pg. We would like to know how your DH/SO and any other children coped as well.

Thanks in advance!:friends2 :friends2 :clap

[Trolldeelocks]

Lots of support...allowing myself to make lots of mistakes...knowing it would eventually get better...trying to enjoy even the most trying times...crying...more crying...:) The twins are my first and probably last babies but I think having another singleton would be a snap after juggling two. I'm not sure if they get better as they get older or if we just adjust to them...maybe a little of both.

[Smidget]

adjust? ha! i still haven't. i've just gone insane instead :para

[CherHell]

i would say you do what you have to do... i had a singleton first so I am thankful that I at least had some experience.. but i will tell ya I've become a creative problem solver and learned to multi-task since having twins.. in fact I will put it on my resume... mother of twins. excellent multi-tasking skills.

[chasing_two]

They were my first, so I think learning everything with two was just how I had to do it. I've done it solo since the beginning (with Dh "helping" when he's home) and I just did what I had to do to take care of them. I learned a lot and I don't know if I'd know what to do with just one baby at a time, but with two older ones (if I have another) I'm sure it'd still be hectic!

[Korena]

Multi-task. keep all hand moving, and let the babies sleep . dont bother them. And get as much sleep as you can, dont worry if your house is messy you have a live time to clean it, but you can only enjoy your babies for a short time they grow up so fast.

[Santa's little dragonfly]

Great question.

Let me start with AJ. AJ was the only child for 10 years. When the twins came home he was happy that we finally got our babies. I could see that he felt out of place. People surronded our house to see the babies. I would ask to please include AJ into any of their embracing, gift giving and so on.

He never once mention anything bad towards the babies or gave any look. He was very overprotective though, he would request everyone to use the sanitizer. He would also get upset if anyone said anything about how little DJ was. He was/still is a great help when it comes to them. He is truly a great big brother. It was something hard to adjust to and I think it still is hard as the twins go into different stages in their lives.

I set aside Thurs. night for us as our date night. We watch a movie of his choice or play a game. We also have our drives in the car so we can talk.

For me it was really hard but I never gave up on it. As soon as we came home DH had to go to work the next day. Everybody went to work and so I had to be there all alone. I did it, I manged to feed them, bathe them and all by myself. DH would come home but he needed to rest to go back out to work. I was one of those people (WAS) that I wanted to do it all.

I learned that it's ok to put the dishes in the dishwasher and not wash them by hand. I learned that you do need time to sit on the chair and read threads on a site so you can get ideas and share things.

I know how to multi-task (Hey, right now I am typing, balancing my check book, telling Aly "not nice" as she is tempted to take down an ornament from the tree. While I watch DJ rock on his horsey.):lol

DH was afraid 'cause he felt old for having a kid at his age let alone twins. He feels differently now...:lol

[SnowBirdie]

you all have so many wonderful ideas and ways you have coped! this is great for us to get more ideas as well as those just finding out they have more than one on the way.

i agree with everyone everyone has said...you are all so smart! keep the great posts coming:clap :clap

[zak frost]

I was supposed to adjust to it?

[SnowBirdie]

hmmm..good point, zakity. i'm not sure if i have or not...lol. all i know is we make it through the day with no serious injuries, both are fed and fairly clean, and they got some cuddles and played. maybe that is all we can hope for sometimes..lol:)

[YoMomma]

Drugs. :lol
I have slowly learned to take each day as it comes. I am an anal freak, and a messy house and disorder drive me insane. However, I have one thing I want to do each day (or night) and do it. Makes me feel accomplished.
I have been doing it alone nights since their birth. H works nights. Everything is doable.

[SnowBirdie]

sounds as if you have adjusted well, YoMomma:lol :lol

[Goga]

I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I called Jason on his cell phone to tell him that we were having twins and he says to me, "Uhh, can I call you back?" I pictured him this way :thud.

I think getting as much help as you can in those first 3 months is really important. Just someone to fold laundry or do dishes is so helpful. And having a helpful DH is a Godsend. Jason was there all the way for the twins. He did 50% of the night feedings despite having to work in a physical job. You take each day as it comes, try to sleep when you can and have a sense of humour.

I don't remember my life before them and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

[Cory]

I think for me, the shock of being told I was having twins was the most overwhelming feeling I've ever had. I already had a four year old and was 37 yrs. old. My husband was 39. We had decided to try until I was 38 for our second and if we weren't successful, we would both be ok with that.

I found out I was pregnant 3 mos before my 38th birthday and found out we were having twins 2 days after my husband's 40th!

Looking back now, I think I was actually mad at the ultrasound technician who delivered the news (like it was her fault) She went to get my husband in the waiting room and I remember telling myself to act happy when he came in. Then when he did come in, of course I started to cry.

It took a while to fully accept the idea but now I couldn't imagine having only 1. My twins are 6mos. and there are definitely days that I want to list them on ebay for a very reasonable price, but mosty days I think about how lucky we are to have 3 beautiful, healthy children.

[rtmommie]

Learn to accept that a shower is now a luxury item. Invest in lots of ponytail holders and clips.


Seriously, having the twins came very natural to me. I found out very late that I was having twins (a whole other story!) so I had no choice but to go into auto-pilot mode. I've learned to accept that not everything is perfect. You do the best you can and leave it at that. There is always another day to catch up.
At first I had to chart the feeding amts, diapers and meds given because I couldn't remember. It also helped if someone came to help out. Accept help from others. However, you take care of the babies, let the helpers clean or do laundry.
Get out of the house with the babies as soon as you are able. It becomes easier the more you do it. I always keep extras in the car... extra clothes for everyone, snacks, diapers and ready to feed formula. If you forget something, it's in the car.


I had two other kids when the babies were born. My oldest knew what to expect because of the second one's arrival. My second son wasn't 2 yet, so he had no clue. We did let the boys oick out the coming home outfits for the babies. I bought each older child a gift from the babies. When someone came to visit, I had the twins upstairs. This was the guests could visit with the older two before they started fussing over the babies. This helped alot. Both sons still have their jealous moments. We spend one-on-one time with them both each day. We also have a date day with my oldest where he can pick which one of us he wants to do something fun with.

[dawnmj]

I still don't think we have adjusted and we found out at about 6 weeks that we were having twins.

We don't have any other children so with the girls being our first we just do what we have to do. I didn't know what being pregnant with one was like so having an ultrasound every week and leaving work at 26 weeks was "normal" for me. I think the hardest thing to adjust to was everyone else asking us how we were going to do, like they had some secret information that no one wanted to tell us. Now we just do what needs to be done.

Routine for us is key to keep us all sane in the house and trying to have a sense of humor when all else fails. I love the girls but I don't think I will ever be fully adjusted to the fact that I had two little ones at the same time.

[DyamondEye12]

I learned to become some what organized relatively quickly!! Everything goes in it's place or it is put very near where it is suppose to go!! People always ask me, "How do you do it?" I smile and say, "I do it with love. I love them, that's how I do it!"

Also, we had to move for two reasons!! One the house we were in was NOT big enough at all and two I wanted my older son to go to a school near where we live now.

I learned that sometimes it is perfectly okay to sit down and just CRY!!! Get it out and let yourself have a good cry!! My B/F is a great supporter of me and when he sees me crying he stops everything to talk and that always makes me feel 100% better!!

[kristijm78]

Thanks to everyone for sharing your humor, honesty, tips, and tribulations. It helps us prepare for the reality of bringing TWO little ones into our home this summer. We're fluctuating between being excited and overwhelmed, and your ideas help us prep ourselves. Thanks!